Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Pretend Pigtails and House of Honey

I don't understand fake hair.  I especially don't understand segments of fake hair.  In random places that you wouldn't think there would be hair.  I'm a little bit grossed out by it actually.
Yes, those are blonde ringletty pretend pigtails coming out the sides of this chick's helmet.  Huh, never saw that before.  But you know what?  Now I believe in all those People Of Walmart photos.  I used to think maybe some of them were staged.  Not so.  Because sometimes you can be driving along and you may see something "different" and exclaim "What the fuck is THAT???"  And you may very well have your camera in your purse, so you could say to your friend "QUICK!  Get my camera from my purse!"  But then ballsy chick on the bike is too fast so you say "Oh shit, she's too fast!  Wait until I get closer!"  And then you're a little bit tailgating the guy in front, but that's okay because man, what a photo op and you are just finally close enough to get a good picture, but the left lane is slowing down and "Shit! Hide the camera!"  So your friend makes the camera disappear (where did it go, did she just sit on your fucking camera?) until you can slow down enough to be just behind biker chick, and the girl driving behind you in the Cavalier looks a bit pissed off, but it's okay because finally again you are perfectly positioned for a perfect picture, so you scream "OK!  TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT!"

So yeah.  I totally believe in hilarious candids now.

Sidenote to the biker chick:  rock on mama, if dudes can put purple mohawks on their helmets, you can totally pull off these curls.  Also, have you ever considered getting pink highlights?  Just a thought.  And, how do you clean the bugs out of your hair?

Now, lovelies, I will be heading to an apiary in the country for a few days.  Shocking, I know - I bet you didn't know I love honey!  And how cool is it that these people have built their house with straw bales?  Very cool.  Because my bed and breakfast will be made of straw also!  And timber framing (probably, unless I decide to build a "Nebraska" or load-bearing style house), and plaster, and a foundation, and a roof, and so on... so please, no more stupid Big Bad Wolf jokes.  Honestly, you aren't the first person to think of such a dumb joke.  If you can think of something creative and witty to say in mock of my dream, then by all means, mock.  But really, if you're mocking my dream I'll probably think your stupid anyways.  Best to keep quiet maybe.

Love Light and Bubbles!

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